” A baby on the way’s a good enough reason to get you out alive
Get you out without having to swallow any pride.”
-The Drive-by Truckers - “Marry Me”
Cold north wind out of the highlands of Scotland (yes, it’s still August) has got me contemplative today. Last night was our last antenatal class. I’ve learned pretty much everything that can happen from now up to “the pushing stage”. We’ve been on a hospital tour and seen the delivery suites, including the pool suite which looks like some sort of posh spa. We’ve bought all the baby kit - pram, diapers, little clothes, really everything except for a place for the baby to sleep. We’ll sort that out this weekend. It’s all over but the waiting.
But, to me at least, what’s going to happen between “the pushing stage” and the day the child graduates from university is all a proverbial black box. People tell me it will come naturally, that I’ll be great at it, just be a dad, that it’s instinctual. Fact of the matter is, that I just really learned how to take care of myself a couple years ago. At 35 years old, I finally feel like I’m qualified to get through a day on my own without inducing disaster. I certainly don’t feel like I can assure the same for someone else. I guess that’s why it’s good that there are two of us. I do think my paternal instinct is starting to kick in - I’m feeling protective of the homestead (hence my crime rant on Friday), enjoying moving things about the house and attic and shed and beginning to horde large amounts of food. Maybe there’s hope that my child won’t be smoking and drinking at age three.
And then there’s the white dog. Wordless Wednesday last week was amusing as our picture of Timmins led more than one person to assume that I was creeping about in the arctic snow taking wildlife photos. Those of you who know us of course know that it was just our lovely, if sometimes slightly feral, Siberian husky. But the wildness that led some folks to a lupine assumption, is giving me a bit of concern now. I’ve no idea how the dog is going to react to the baby. I know how he reacts to sheep, swans and pheasants. He’s never been a big fan of Sinead’s nephews when they’ve visited, but he’s also never had one of his own. Despite borderline obsessive web searches, I’ve yet to find any report of a Siberian Husky mauling an infant - which is good news. But anyone out there that has experience with dogs and infants - any advice would be gratefully received.
Oh well, there’s only one way out now. I’ll take comfort in the immortal words of that great war planner Don Rumsfeld:
“There are known knowns. These are things we know that we know. There are known unknowns. That is to say, there are things that we know we don’t know. But there are also unknown unknowns. There are things we don’t know we don’t know.“
8 responses so far ↓
1 Jamie // Aug 21, 2007 at 9:20 am
Generally, dogs and babies are fine. I think a greater concern is that Timmins will become aggressive to others who approach the baby. This happened with our dog Pepper, to such an extent that we had to send her to my parents (although this started while Jennifer was pregnant, actually, so if Timmins is not protecting Sinead now, you are probably okay).
Anyway, some tips, as Jennifer was worried about this too. Jennifer started carrying a doll when she was around Scout and Pepper before Chloe was born (I think this had no effect). Better, I think, was that while Jennifer and Chloe were still at the hospital, I brought home a blanket in which Chloe had been sleeping. The pups were certainly interested in its smell. When we bought Chloe home the dogs were very curious, and incredibly careful around her. It was so sweet. Scout would get so upset is Chloe started to cry in her crib and we were out of the room; Scout would come and get us.
We took a few other precautions - we only let the dogs ride in the car with her if they were in the far back behind a dog gate. (Both dogs like to jump around a lot in the car). We never left her alone, of course, with the dogs, even for a little bit of time. That was really it.
Of course, Pepper had to be sent away, but that was because she was attacking other people, not Chloe. I will admit that Scout’s feelings for Chloe have soured of late, although she has never been aggressive with her. The concern over the crying stopped long ago - Scout would roll her eyes (if that is possible with a dog) and leave the room if Chloe started up. Now that Chloe is mobile, she chases Scout around and tries to pull her tail. Scout has born this with the patience of Job, and I have done my best to put a stop to it, but now Scout mostly sees Chloe as a pain, except at dinner, since Chloe drops lots of food for her. Each seems somewhat jealous of the other. I assume they will get along better after Chloe learns to throw the tennis ball more than a foot.
2 Nichole // Aug 21, 2007 at 9:22 am
Fortunately, Sinead is quite capable.
Looming parenthood is terribly daunting, isn’t it? You’ll find that some things really do work on autopilot, though. You’ll get through it and cope because, really, there’s no other choice. I know that sounds a little bleak, but the first couple of months require a sort of head-down, barrel-through approach. At least, they did for me; Alex may remember things differently.
It’s important to remember, too, that you have friends all over the world who would be happy to talk to you whenever you need them.
3 Jamie // Aug 21, 2007 at 9:22 am
Generally, dogs and babies are fine. I think a greater concern is that Timmins will become aggressive to others who approach the baby. This happened with our dog Pepper, to such an extent that we had to send her to my parents (although this started while Jennifer was pregnant, actually).
Anyway, some tips, as Jennifer was worried about this too. Jennifer started carrying a doll when she was around Scout and Pepper before Chloe was born (I think this had no effect). Better, I think, was that while Jennifer and Chloe were still at the hospital, I brought home a blanket in which Chloe had been sleeping. The pups were certainly interested in its smell. When we bought Chloe home the dogs were very curious, and incredibly careful around her. It was so sweet. Scout would get so upset is she started to cry in her crib and we were out of the room; Scout would come and get us.
We took a few other precautions - we only let the dogs ride in the car with her if they were in the far back behind a dog gate. (Both dogs like to jump around a lot in the car). We never left her alone, of course, with the dogs, even for a little bit of time. That was really it.
Of course, Pepper had to be sent away, but that was because she was attacking other people, not Chloe. I will admit that Scout’s feelings for Chloe have soured of late, although she has never been aggressive with her. The concern over the crying stopped long ago - Scout would roll her eyes (if that is possible with a dog) and leave the room if Chloe started up. Now that Chloe is mobile, she chases Scout around and tries to pull her tail. Scout has born this with the patience of Job, and I have done my best to put a stop to it, but now Scout mostly sees Chloe as a pain, except at dinner, since Chloe drops lots of food for her. Each seems somewhat jealous of the other. I assume they will get along better after Chloe learns to throw the tennis ball more than a foot.
4 Sinead // Aug 21, 2007 at 9:58 am
I hope I am capable, but I am still in complete and utter denial that I am pregnant and will have a baby to look after in a few weeks. My friend thinks it will sink in when I bring the baby home from the hospital and no-one comes to pick it up. We will see I guess:)
5 Matthew // Aug 21, 2007 at 10:48 am
When it comes to the dog and Baby Della Vedova, I am reminded of the immortal words of Cesar Milan…”you got to be dominate!” Once the dog knows that your the boss, and the baby is a higher pecking order than he, he’ll leave him alone and even may become protective.
6 Nathan Brewer // Aug 21, 2007 at 11:14 am
I think you should figure out a way to hook up Timmons to the pram in some sort of rickshaw-type of configuration…
Can’t really give you any advice about the delivery; Ella was breech, so she was delivered c-section. If that does happen, heed this advice: DON’T LOOK BEYOND THE SCREEN.
7 Courtney // Aug 22, 2007 at 10:26 am
I guess you will just have to follow the rest of us and take it one day at a time. Good luck!
8 Alex // Aug 22, 2007 at 12:10 pm
Yeah, I remember looking over the screen when Piper was removed from Nichole. You know, it was incredibly visceral but at the same time I have this intimate vision of my daughter that is burned into my frontal lobe that I see everyday. Kinfd of amazing. Anyway, Chris, buck up. You are just the next in a long line of pacing soon-to-be-fathers thinking over all the potential issues that my arise in the near future. Matt’s right, though. make sure Timmins understands the pecking order of the family.
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